We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize