Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
