do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
