your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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