And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
