Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
