Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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