i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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