what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
