Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
