Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
