guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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