Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I need moral support for this bender
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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