dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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