This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Found your dick twin last night
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
