can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
