OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I want to fling myself into the sun
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
