i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
