This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
