i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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