we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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