I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
