he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize