just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
