i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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