you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
