nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
there was a trapeze. enough said
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
