it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
