fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
