Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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