And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Fuck appropriateness.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize