I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
