You really coming over, don't trick.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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