i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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