probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
