spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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