I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
