so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
