i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
