lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
