Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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