Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
