Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize