the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
