I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
