Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
