please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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