if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
