Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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