I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So much Jack, so little girl.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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