like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
