is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
