I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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