Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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