I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
