she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
foreskin is a definite game changer
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
