it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize