The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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