Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
