Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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