Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
either way he was missing a nipple.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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