I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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