i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
