Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
