i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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