How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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